Orphanage Visit Day

Sorry I didn’t post an update yesterday.  When we finally got back to the hotel to eat dinner and get the kids to bed, we were way to tired to think.

When we arrived on Saturday, our guide gave us a schedule for the week.  That schedule showed us going to the zoo and participating in an architectural tour on Wednesday.  We found out on Tuesday that the scheduled had been changed and we would be visiting the orphanage on Wednesday instead.  When we asked Michael about the change he told us the visits to the orphanage were dictated by their schedules and they wanted us on Wednesday not Thursday.  The other two families’ children came from a different orphanage, so they were going on their visit in the morning and we were to meet Michael at 2pm to go on our visit.

We woke up Wednesday morning excited about the visit but also nervous.  What would Lucy think about us going back?  Would it upset her?  Would she think we were going to leave her there?  We had all sorts of expectations about the visit.  We brought a large bag with us from home with donation items for the orphanage and bought more after we arrived here.  My mom helped me pack them up in bags to take with us that afternoon.

Lucy slept with Madison Tuesday night.  They were so cute asleep in their bed.  She has been sleeping great!  When they woke up, we went down for breakfast.  They had a new bond which didn’t seem to be there before.  She wanted to sit beside him and do whatever he was doing.  Madison is so excited to be her big brother.  While we were at breakfast, we got a minute to speak with the other families.  They were getting ready to leave for their orphanage visit.  Michael, our guide, came into the restaurant to check on everyone.  When he stopped by our table to confirm out 2pm meeting time, I asked him to tell Lucy what the plans were for the day and see if she had any concerns.  He told her and she seemed excited about going back.  I also had Michael tell Lucy that we were going to get her friend Delaney a gift and he did.  She seemed really excited about that!

1. Since we had free time in the morning, we headed out to the mall.  We have been to the mall more here than I have been in a year in Birmingham!  I wanted to get one additional gift for Lucy’s foster mom since we would be meeting her and also Lucy’s best friend – Delaney.  We wanted to get a small gift that Lucy could give Delaney since it will be a while before they see each other again.  (we do know who is adopting Delaney and have been in contact with her new family.  We will definitely keep the girls in touch.)  Lucy was ready to shop!

After shopping and a quick lunch, we headed back to the hotel to get ready to leave for the orphanage.  To say I was nervous would be an understatement.  I started getting the donation bags and gifts together and realized Lucy was packing a small bag.  It was a bag that came with her Matilda Jane outfit.   She was putting some of the shorts, shirts, socks and other new items we brought with us for her.  I honestly thought she was packing to go back and misunderstood what Michael told her.  I tried to get her to stop and even unpacked the bag twice telling her that she would be coming back and staying with us.  She is a very persistent one and ended up packing a smaller amount of items than originally packed.  I decided to let her take them and then Michael could explain.

When Michael arrived to pick us up we let him know we had a gifts for Delaney – one from Lucy and more important, a gift from Delaney’s adopting parents. He immediately called the orphanage to make sure we could see her.  They said we could.  The drive was supposed to take about an hour.  Traffic was terrible.  It took us an hour and 40 minutes to get there.  The orphanage called Michael several times about our location and when we were going to arrive.  Lucy took full advantage of having someone in the car for over an hour that spoke Mandarin.  She was talking to Michael non-stop on the way there.  We enjoyed hearing what all she was saying as Michael translated for us.  Per Michael she told him she really like her new family and she was ready to fly to America.  She was also excited about seeing her friends at the orphanage so they could meet her new family.  She was talking so fast and hardly let Michael answer her.  We decided after 3 days being with us and not having someone who understood her she was going to get it all in during that drive.

As we got to the edge of the city we exited the highway and started climbing a mountain.  The area was beautiful.  Michael told us about the area and how there was a National Park (or equivalent) with many hiking, camping and resorts located on the mountain.  We passed beautiful resorts and the area was so different than what we had been exposed to in downtown Chongqing.  We turned in an area and there it was -Love Manor.

We then turned into a courtyard area that looked like we had just arrived at condos.  There were four large buildings and cars parked in front.  Michael explained to us this was the foster housing on the property.  In China, foster care is different than in the US.  Children don’t leave the orphanage grounds, they just move to a different area of the orphanage.  If a couple agrees to be foster parents, they get the apartment for free.  The foster dad still works his normal job and the foster mom is employed by the orphanage.  Free housing in this area is a BIG deal!

We got out of the car and there were members of the Love Manor team there to meet us which I recognized from Gotcha Day.  The Assistant Director greeted us and introduced us to Lucy’s foster mom.  We then proceeded to head to her home and see where Lucy has been living since January.  (Lucy just moved from the main orphanage to foster care at the beginning of this year).  As we walked up the sidewalk to the building Lucy grabbed my hand and held it tight.  She has not been a big hand holder yet (we have tired) but at this moment she decided my hand was the right one to hold.  We made it up the stairs to their home on the second floor.  She ran inside to show us her room.  We must have taken a thousand photos in there.   Lucy also was talking photos.  We gave her one of my old digital cameras to use and I can’t wait to see what all “Lucy Cam” has to show us.  It will be interesting to see what she found photo worthy.

She was talking away to her foster mom and the other members of the Love Manor team.  I asked Michael what she was saying and he laughed.  He said she was telling them how much fun she was having with her new family and what all she has done since she left on Monday.  I could tell her foster mom was emotional, which was great because it is so awesome to know that someone else has been loving on her and she was not alone there.  We tried to keep up with what all was going on in the room but it seemed to be all happening so fast.  Lucy had a room to herself over the past several months because her roommate had been adopted.  We were told her foster brothers were at school and her foster dad at work.  Which all made sense.

The assistant director said something in Mandarin and Michael told us we were going to tour the rest of the property.  They told Lucy to tell her foster mom goodbye.  My heart broke for Lucy and her foster mom as I knew they would more than likely never see each other again.  I still don’t know if Lucy truly understands that yet.  Her foster did though and she was emotional.

Then in came Delaney.  Lucy’s eyes lit up!  You can tell there are very close friends.  Lucy gave her the gift with the message on the bag that said “See you in America”.  Then she wanted to get her little packed bag.  She started pulling the items out and was talking so fast.  She was showing her each item with such pride.  First a pair of socks we purchased the day before still in the wrapper, then her two Barbie Dolls she got at the toy store, then the two pair of sunglasses (one was too big for her so we bought new ones that morning) then all the snack items she had picked out in the grocery store.  I was so relieved.  She never thought we were leaving her at the orphanage, she just wanted to show Delaney her new items.  What happened next I would have never expected after our adoption training.  We have been told that adopted children tend to hoard things because they have never had items to call their own.  Lucy was still speaking so fast and without any translation needed we all realized she was sharing with Delaney.  She put the socks in her gift bag and then started getting her to pick one of the Barbies and one of the pair of sunglasses.  Lucy then put all of the snack items in Delaney’s bag.  I couldn’t hold back the tears and felt guilty that I didn’t let her pack everything she wanted to bring.  She want to share her new belongings with her best friend.

 

 

 

 

 

 

The Assistant Director said something to Michael and then we were told we had to move forward with the tour.  We all made our way downstairs and I gave Delaney the gift bag from her family in Washington.  She smiled so big!  I took more photos outside even though I knew they wanted me to move on.  We then walked up the hill to see the rest of campus.

Love Manor looks like a small college campus.  All the buildings are the same architecture of the  foster apartments.   They have a hospital onsite, multiple dorms so they can divide up children by age and gender.  The school is onsite and the vocational program for orphans not adopted so they learn a trade prior to moving out.  (it is very rare an orphan gets to go to college)  Lucy held Madison’s hand as we made our way up to her school.  I was focused on the buildings and listening to what all Michael had to say about the place our daughter has lived since 2011.  We made it to the doors of her school and she ran in.  She was excited to show us her classroom and the music room.  The school was a little dark since it was closed.  Michael explained to us that the Director told him they had a teacher’s education day and school ended at lunch that day.  We followed Lucy through the halls and Michael translated what she as saying about her school.  She loves school and especially music.  When we got to the music room she sat at her desk and we snapped a quick photo.

When we were leaving the building we took another family photo on the steps.

As we walked away from the school the director told us goodbye and we finished the tour with Michael.  I had been so focused on what all they were telling us and understanding as much as possible about Lucy’s life I had not noticed something – where were all the people?  Love Manor is home to over 1,000 orphans.  Add to that the caregivers, grounds keepers and other staff there must be at least 1,500 people on this campus.  We had not seen anyone other than Lucy’s foster mom, Delaney, the Assistant Director, the Head Nanny and the couple we turned in our donations to in the parking lot.  No children, no one.  Where were they?

As we continued to walk we finally saw one person.  A nice lady from the dinning hall came out and said “Bi Xiao Yuan!” (that is Lucy’s Chinese name)  Lucy definitely knew her and she went over to give her a hug.  Michael said the lady told her goodbye and to enjoy her life in America.  We then walked past a police officer at the gate (he wasn’t there when we came into the school area) and he wouldn’t smile or speak.  He just stared and we keep walking.  It was a very strange feeling.

We ended our tour at a coy fish pond.  It was beautiful and made just for the children of Love Manor.  As we drove away, Lucy seemed happy.  Michael was great and took us to see  a waterfall that is part of the national park so we could take a family photo.

He then took us to the rivers that are an important part of the Chongqing economy.  They are HUGE and where the two rivers come together to form one even larger river was impressive.  We didn’t arrive back at the hotel until after 7pm.  The kids were so tired.  Lucy fell asleep on Madison on the way back.  It was an amazing day and one we will never forget.